Only a cop would make this joke.

Today I was riding with a partner. We drove past an auto dealership when he says;

"George! Do you remember that drunk who fled to that dealership over there some years back?"

"Yes I do! I was on that scene. I caught up to the chase on the north side of the freeway. That guy went to IAD with a bogus complaint!"

What happened was a guy who worked at that dealership was drunk. An officer went to stop him and the guy fled. He led him on a short chase and turned onto a side road that went up to one of the dealership entrances before it dead ended. He stopped and we did our felony stop. The door swung open and the driver fell out of the truck onto the street. We then rushed him and arrested him. He was mouthy and protesting his arrest. On the way to jail he offered to pay $5,000 to the officer to let him go. Sadly the officer didn't think to try to file that charge on the guy. The guy went to IAD and alleged he was beaten up which was found to be not true. However the department never tried to file perjury charges on him. Most departments are too scared to file charges on people who file false complaints on officers.

Me: "I remember that guy falling out of his truck because he was so drunk! He also offered $5,000 to be released!"

Partner: "Uh uh! I never knew that! I've never had anyone try to bribe me!"

Me: "Me neither! Well once I did have a guy try to allude to it. I had him arrested for something and he made some kind of comment of working something out. Instead of letting him talk and maybe earning himself another charge I told him flat out to shut his mouth because he isn't going to bribe me! Plus, I've never had a woman offer me sexual favors to get out of an arrest or ticket!"

Partner: "Me neither, and that pisses me off!"

Me: "Yeah! Me too! What's up with that!"

***In case you're thinking "a ha gotcha!" Think again, we were kidding!"

Don't Disregard Authority If You're Breaking the Law!

I was planning on leaving work on time when a black car flies past me with no license plate. I consider myself a lenient person but when a car flies past a marked police car to me that shows the driver doesn't have a high opinion of law enforcement. Since he's decided to show his disregard for authority while breaking the law he and I need to have a chat. I stop him on the busy freeway and he steps out of the car shouting why did I stop him! In my mind I'm saying "oh hell no!" I answer him by pointing out his empty license plate holder. He tells me the plate was stolen. Okay, this should be easy to verify. I ask him who did the report and for his case number. He has no idea who came out and if he even has a case number. Now, anyone who has had a report taken by police would at least remember the agency and where their case number was (I know people don't know the case numbers). He says he has his front license plate. I compare that plate to the plate number on his registration sticker and waa-laa, they don't match! This guy is digging himself deeper and deeper. He's 6'03 and almost 300 pounds so I keep up my wall. He started out thinking he's going to bully me but when I lay my cards showing I have him dead to rights he calms down just a tad, but it's clear in his demeanor he doesn't think he should have been stopped to start with. I check out his stolen plate story and can't find anything. So, I don't think he ever reported it (if he's telling the truth to start with). I learn that the plate on his car was cancelled last year. So, for whatever reason he never put on his real plates. On top of that, he has an old traffic warrant. I confirm the warrant. I also learn he has a history of violence. He was once arrested for assaulting and choking a meter-reader who came to his house to read the meter. He was also arrested for resisting arrest. He confronted a female officer and fought her when she went to arrest him. This tells me he has an inflated opinion of what he can do and nobody has the right to tell him what to do. A Lieutenant checks by with me. I explain the guy's citation and he wants to debate the issue. I haven't told him about the warrant yet, I need him to sign the citation before we do that. He finally signs with some argument. I then put down the ticket book and tell him he's under arrest for the warrant. I also flat out tell him I know he's been arrested for fighting the police before and diplomatically warn him if he fights me, he will regret it. It worked, he didn't fight although he did try to weasel out of it using the "I need my medicine excuse." Usually when someone plays this card it is mental medication, not life sustaining. I doubt his arrest will change his outlook on how to deal with authority figures when he is in the wrong, but at least I didn't have to fight him.

Cantina's Back

I found out an old cantina nemesis is back in business under a new name. Some officers like to go visit it and wait for drunks to come out. The cantina is a haven for underage drinking, prostitution, and drug sales and use. For years we have been trying to get the place shut down permanently. We manage to get it temporarily shut down but it manages to come back. Had I only known at the time I had the bar owner I would have found a reason to arrest him. I used to sit up on it and got some drunk drivers, some possession of cocaine, warrants, and weapons out of it.

A friend of mine tells me he sees a guy and a hooker come out of the club and get into a car and "act funny." So they walk up to the car and sure as hell there is a bag of cocaine in plain view by the man. He was planning on snorting cocaine and "gettin his freak on" with the hooker. He goes for possession of cocaine and she goes for public intoxication. I guess you have to be intoxicated in the daytime to live the life she lives.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Poor guy was simply riding a bicycle with a makeshift freezer full of ice cream products. He rides his bike around selling ice cream. Unfortunately for him, he is in an area where a group of 15 kids have been running rampant robbing people. So this day they attack and rob him. Fortunately for him an officer happened to drive along right after it happened and got units in the area to look for the hoods. They find them cowering under a bridge and the chase is on. Out of 15, 4 of them got caught and arrested. Not a generous serving but a great start. All of them under 17 years of age. You have to wonder what goes through the mind of a group of kids who decide robbing an ice cream vendor on a bicycle is a good idea.

DUI

This guy came down the wrong way of a major freeway hitting one car, almost hitting a police car head on, and then went through a parking lot and struck a pole. He's on the west side of town and when asked where he was said he was in another city about 40 miles away! Needless to say he went to jail!

Let's See If I'm In Trouble

We get calls about three guys running through the neighborhood. We learn these guys robbed a woman at a nearby mall and were fleeing through the neighborhood. Other officers are traversing a bayou after sunset. I get there to help out when an angry woman calls wanting to know why it took 15 minutes to show up, and why weren't we running lights and sirens. Well, first off, it only took 8 minutes from the time the call came in to when the first officer arrived. Second, nobody knew these were robbery suspects, the original call was guys running down the street. I volunteer to go meet the woman who has been drinking and has an attitude. Needless to say, it wasn't a pleasant conversation and I point out told her she was wrong. So, I'm waiting for the IAD complaint Monday morning and of course they will do their jobs although hopefully they will keep things in perspective.

Update: I talked to the ISD PD Sergeant who said he was going to try and get either kidnapping or endangerment charges against that bus driver. Turns out, she was nowhere near her bus route and they have had several prior complaints on that particular driver. Looks like this was her last straw!

Thought I Was Going to be in Speed 3

First call came as a school bus driving erratically on the freeway. Everyday we get reckless driver calls but first time I've heard of a school bus being called on. At first I wasn't going to bother with it, the other units could check it (the bus would have been gone by then anyhow). Then the whole situation turns upside down. Another officer got flagged down by a woman whose daughter calls saying her school bus has been hijacked and kids were jumping off. Okay, now I'm getting involved even though I'm miles away. I try making my way through Friday rush hour traffic to the freeway. Then we get information that another agency has the bus stopped. We call that agency and they have no clue what we're talking about. We then call the school district who operates the bus and thankfully they have a GPS tracker on it and it's still on the freeway about to enter into the next county. Actually, the bus is heading to my home neighborhood. So I need no map now, I just need people to get out of my way. Running emergency traffic through Friday rush hour traffic is a bitch! I have to resist the urge to get on my PA speaker and shout things like "do I look like I'm driving a mother f****** ice cream truck!" Or, "get the hell out of my way!" Shortly before I arrive the school district police arrive and the bus is stopped in a parking lot of the grocery store I regularly shop at! I can imagine the reaction of the shoppers to have about 20 police cars flying into the parking lot around a school bus. I get out and the kids are shouting and jumping up and down. We quickly learn the bus wasn't hijacked however we're being told that the bus driver was acting, and driving crazy. Parents then start showing up so I start reassuring them their child is okay, the bus wasn't hijacked but we're still trying to sort out the mess and find out what happened. This calms all the parents except one and I could tell from her posture she was going to be a problem. She refused to listen to me and walked off. The ISD Sergeant I recognized from in-service classes so the inter-agency cooperation is going to be easy. I help him out since this is his scene. We later learn that the man who called them told his daughter to tell police that the bus was hijacked. I sure hope they charge him with false report. I know we would have. I then left, my task was done. I'll have to call that Sergeant and get the exciting conclusion.

Robber Returns To Store To Pick Up a Phone!

In the annals of dumb criminal history comes a member of the Rollin 60 crips. Over the last few months he's robbed a cell phone outlet store three times. He needed a phone so he comes into the store to get one, legitimately! Too bad for him the clerk recognized his voice and a distinct body feature so naturally he calls us. When we arrive he is the only one of four customers who suddenly get nervous and hangs his head low. After subsequent investigation he is arrested. Now, had I been falsely accused of armed robbery I'd be screaming my innocence all the way to the jail. This guy didn't. He wanted someone to call someone to bail him out and he protested the inventory (not search) of his car where a bandanna, a cap, and a gun were found in the car. He kept making requests to be allowed to use the restroom. I told him no. He then wanted to step out and stretch. I told him hell no! I'm sure some bleeding heart reading this thinks I'm a cruel man not allowing this 'alleged robber' out of the car. After I leave he tells the other officers he's got drugs on him. The moment he's taken out of the car he bolts! He only made it across the parking lot before being tackled. Not quite the actions of an innocent man.

Funny Story

I was chatting with a guy on an accident scene. The topic eventually came up on when an officer is on an involved scene and has to go to the restroom. Obviously a task easier for a man. This guy relayed the story how he was working a crash near the airport and had to go really bad. So he found a hidden spot amongst some brush and went to watering the flowers. He then looked up and realized there was a news helicopter right above him! Obviously the news editor cut that footage out.