Friday, January 30, 2009

Thursday, January 29, 2009

It was a pretty busy damn day! Let's see;

Burglary in progress call goes out. The officers arrive along with the helicopter. The helicopter spots some guys, matching the description standing in a front yard watching the officers. When one of the officers starts walking their way they run. That could be a clue these guys are guilty. The helicopter watches them ducking into corners. They get caught. I wonder how many burglaries will be cleared up with these guys' arrests.

Overnight one neighborhood has a rash of tire thefts. Someone is going up in peoples' driveway and stealing the tires right off the cars!

An officer makes a stop on a car that's having trouble staying in the lane. The car stops and as the officer walks up to it, the female driver takes off. The officer gives chase and stops her by her house. She's drunk and combative. Another one of our finest citizens.

A man gets a call that his ex-girlfriend is thinking of killing herself. He calls officers because he doesn't want to be alone with her. According to him she is batsh** crazy. Initially she is rational. The officer decides to try playing mediator. She asks if the man wants to talk to her and he says no. Then, the woman charges him screaming sandwiching the officer and assaulting her. The secondary officer jumps in and the fight with the woman is on. Then her teenage son comes and hits the other officer and runs off. Both of them go to jail for the same offense. Of course by the time I get there it is all over. Damn! I'd love for that little brat to have tried to hit me as well as his mother. As I used to say when I patrolled the inner city "the ghetto in me would have come out!"

"Watch out! He's got a fetish for car horns!"

I was helping another officer with a warrant arrest on a guy who was 6' 5" and 260 lbs. He was a big guy. As we're doing the deed this young man comes riding by on a bike. He stops and ask if everything is okay. Part of me understands he's just curious. The other part of me is annoyed slightly. I tell him it's all good and to move on. He goes to the end of the street and watches us. Okay, fine as long as he stays away. One officer tells the lady officer with us that her boyfriend is here. She gets irritated. Ah, clearly another way to taunt her. She takes herself a little too seriously sometimes. They tell me the guy's name is Chris and he's autistic. He's in his early 20s. He has a fascination for the officers in that area, but especially the lady. I look at her and say "I think you two would make a nice couple!" She shoots me that 'go to hell' look. They tell me "watch out he's got a fetish for car horns!" Apparently he will ride around and go into peoples' cars and honk their horns. Well, aside from annoying can't see how that is illegal. He doesn't steal anything, he just honks horns. I get in my car to leave and he comes to me. He's never seen me out there before (which is good). He shakes my hand then suddenly starts honking the horn. Oh lord!

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Bad Decision

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I came across this video and my eyes were wide the whole time I watched it. What the hell was this former officer thinking?

Friday, January 23, 2009

Let The Ribbing Begin...

In preparation of the teasing I was sure to get over the body found in a home I searched last month I printed the pictures I took. My plan was for anyone who began clowning me to see those pictures then I'd smugly ask if they'd have found the body. It wasn't until dinner time. A friend was sitting down in a chair with a wet spot so I warned him. Another officer (another friend) said "well damn George! You can find a wet spot on a chair but can't find a corpse in a house!" Ha! Ha! So I pull out the photos and let him look at them. He grins and says "oh yeah here's his head, a foot..." There really wasn't, he was just having his fun with me. Of course if the shoe were on the other foot I'd be clowning him too. He then reminded me that he told me, the day I checked the house to make sure I checked thoroughly. I did and someday I will post the post the pictures and let you decide. I told him I couldn't smell anything other than rotten food and tossed a bottle into the rubble to see if I could stir up any flies. Not missing an opportunity he says "he was probably gasping his last breath until you tossed that bottle (empty) and hit his head and killed him!"

Ha! Ha! Ha!

Chases are dangerous??? Now he tells me!!!

I checked my emails and found a note from the captain. It basically read;

"Officers are reminded of how critical their performance in a traffic pursuit is. Officers should be aware that pursuits are dangerous and present a danger to the public...."

No sh** Sherlock! Really???? In my 10 years of law enforcement and dozens of car chases I've been in, it never occurred to me that I, and the public were in danger! I'm sure glad this captain was around to tell me this although the last time he ever chased anyone Nixon was still President.

I'm wondering why this is coming up. I have a sickening feeling that with the bad press recently about police chases ending in the death of an innocent civilian our department is going to knee-jerk react and try to make us responsible to the actions of fleeing criminals.

What I Missed

After taking some days off I usually miss some interesting bits. When I return I browse through the past events. Last night an officer spotted someone getting robbed. So he went to arrest the robber who jumped in a car and lead officers on a chase. He was eventually caught and arrested. One less robber on our streets!

Another individual decided to end his life in the park. He drove into a large park and shot himself in the head. This is the second time in about a year someone decided to end their life in the peaceful solitude of that park. Kind of a macabre ending. I can only imagine the officer's reaction at finding a dead man in the park. Hell, I remember last year some guy parked at one of our substations on the west side and shot himself in the head. His truck, with his body sat amongst police cars until an officer reported for work and found him.

Sunday, January 18, 2009

I knew he was dead somewhere, just not in the house

Remember the house I broke into thinking there was a dead body? Well today I get a call.

"Hey George remember that house on such-and-such street?"

Then I felt a sinking feeling. I knew what was coming.

"George remember the guy you were looking for?"

"Yeah, where did they find him?"

"In the kitchen, underneath all that garbage!"

"Awww damn!"

His family came to the house, a month after we went in and began cleaning up. After three days (today) they had removed enough clutter and found his body. After a while I will post the pictures I took of the clutter the day I was in the house and let you see for yourself. I'll be eagerly following this case until the closure. Still, dammit!!!!!!


I really hate to insult the scam victim because she's elderly, but damn! How in hell could someone fall for such an obvious scam? A woman was putting her groceries in the car when another woman walks up to her and says she found a bag of treasury bonds by her car. The woman then tells the victim she knows an accountant across the street who can process and cash in the bonds, but he needs $3,000 up front. So, she writes a check. The con woman tells her that an armored truck will stop by the victim's house and deliver the money. The victim gives the con woman her address. Well, needless to say no armored truck no cash. So, she calls and wants a report. Good thing I didn't take that call. I'd have a hard time masking my disbelief.

8th Time the Charm

It started when some guy called in looking for his driver's license. He said the officers kept it. Come to find out, when the previous shift was dealing with him and his crazy family he was so high on alcohol and xanax he doesn't remember what happened. Well they say they gave it back to him, good enough for me. At the end of the shift another call comes in. Apparently he called a crises line threatening suicide. I was technically off duty and on my way home but the call was on my way home so I figured I'd stop by and see if I could help out. I arrive and kind of take over. I really shouldn't but since I'm the senior guy out there it's in my nature to take over. If you want it done right, do it yourself....Anyway, I find the crises counselor and talk to her and she tells me what was said. So, we decide to take him to a psych hospital for evaluation. He's drunk, high, and mouthy. I love hearing "you need to leave." Inside I wanted to say "make me" but I refrained. He protested as I put handcuffs on him. I know the history of this house, family disturbances. Plus we've had seven calls to this house already today. If I remember correctly he's fought officers in the past. I told him what I was doing and why. I didn't trust him, but he wasn't going to jail, he was going to the hospital. His younger brother is afraid his mom will beat his ass for calling us when he didn't. He's so worried he gets her on the phone so I talk to her. She tells me we have the wrong kid. Now, drunk guy is denying he called the crises hotline when he said he called earlier. Well I'm satisfied we have the right guy and he's just now trying to get out of it. I jump back in my personal car and head home. Then, the radio blares, drunk guy is acting up in the patrol car. Damn! I start to feel bad. I feel like I stirred this pot up and now someone else is having to deal with it. I turn around and like the starship Enterprise go warp speed back to the station where they are restraining him. Fortunately all goes well. I tell the night shift sergeant to ignore any calls of a speeding vehicle on X street.

Saturday, January 17, 2009

To all you bleeding hearts out there...

I'd like to have a word with you. I'm sorry your relative is mentally ill. I'm sorry you cannot keep him/her under control. I don't resent the fact that you expect us to handle your problem for you. Really I don't. I will do my best to be gentle, sympathetic, and compassionate. However, just because your loved one is crazy doesn't mean I'm going to lay down my life. I really don't care if your loved one sees demons and hear voices that negate his/her sense of right and wrong. I will not let your crazy loved one hurt nor kill me. I will do what I have to do to defend myself including deadly force if necessary. Just because your loved one is batsh** crazy doesn't mean I cannot prevent him/her from killing me. Hopefully you'll understand and do your part to keep your loved in on their medications.

Friday, January 16, 2009

"You expect me to believe that bullsh**!"

The call came out;
"Reportee advises there are two males in her backyard shot in the head!"

Oh that can't be good. Of course this call drops during rush hour traffic so we have to navigate around about a hundred people simply trying to get home from work. We get there and both 'victims' are standing talking to us. Couldn't have been a powerful shot to the head. Come to find out they were grazed by buckshot. Maybe I'm old, maybe I'm cynical, but one look at these two clowns and I had a sneaking suspicion these two are partly responsible for their own misery. Their initial story is they parked their car at a gas station a mile down the road and spotted their assailant circling the parking lot. They saw he had a shotgun. So, they walk down the street, not calling anybody while their assailant follows. Then they say he jumps out with the shotgun. Now, why in the hell would you walk a mile away from your car, not calling anybody, while an armed man stalks you? Obviously these guys are lying. One of the 'victims' lies to the paramedics about his age. The other one mentions the name of the shooter. I ask him his history with the shooter and he says he doesn't know the guy. Okay, he knows the guy's name, but claims not to know him. Again, bullsh**! He then makes a comment. "He must have thought I had money by the kind of car I drive!" I wanted to see the car. Something told me we'd find the answer to this riddle in the car. We all go to the car and manage to get permission from the owner to search it. We learn from the station clerk that our 'victims' got into the car with the shooter and left with him! They admit that the other one was there to buy marijuana, but had no idea. In other words, they try to blame each other. Inside the car we find more drugs. So, these guys got arrested. Must suck to go buy marijuana, then get robbed by the dealer and shot at. Then, to top it off, get arrested! I also later learned that both of these 'victims' are suspects in burglaries currently under investigation. So, hard for me to feel sorry for these guys.

Sunday, January 11, 2009

A Damaging Drunkard

A new officer gets a call about a drunk in the usual bad part of town. A drunk illegal immigrant gets caught trying to steal a bottle of wine. He gets tossed out of the store. In his drunken rage he takes a brick and tosses it through the window. Needless to say he gets arrested and charged with criminal mischief. While the officers are doing their paperwork the man, drunk falls flat on his face literally. They put him in the patrol car where he attempts to kick out the window. As a result he is hog-tied. He gets a ride to jail where they refuse him because of the cut on his face from his fall. He gets taken to the hospital where he successfully kicks out the window in the patrol car and spits on the officer. Now this idiot has earned himself two more charges and hopefully an immigration hold. The officer is cursing because this is the second car in a week that has been damaged while assigned to him. Neither case is his fault, but it does give us something to tease him about.

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Shots Fired!

An off duty officer spots two guys in a vehicle. One of them has a small pipe in his mouth. The officer ponders the chances that these guys are sitting, blacked out, smoking tobacco in these pipes. Yeah right! So he approaches them and the driver backs out and drives toward the officer who winds up on the hood. He shoots at the driver but since he is on a moving hood he misses. The driver briefly gets away until he is stopped by another officer and arrested. Thankfully the officer is okay. I heard this story from a friend of mine.

Still There

I drove down this street three years ago when I saw this abandoned car sitting at an ice rink. I thought the car would be listed as stolen since the tires are all flat and the doors are unlocked. The car is a 75 model something or other that isn't manufactured anymore. Well, last month, three years later, this damn car is still there! The only reasonable explanation is that the owner of the car is also the owner of this ice rink. That, or the owner doesn't care that this dead car has been sitting in the parking lot for at least three years!

Friday, January 9, 2009

"You're not the police!"

I was simply cruising down the street and making a left turn when out of no where comes this Mercedes busting through the red light, almost hitting the car in front of me. I get around the car almost hit and floor the pedal trying to catch this fool. I hit the lights and get behind him. He's still going. I turn on the sirens and he is still going. I grab the radio and wait one more block before I call out on a pursuit. Finally he pulls over and jumps out of the car. Because of his thick accent all I hear is "robbed!" At first I'm thinking was he chasing the robbers and I just stopped him? Then I remembered nobody was in front of him when he ran that light. He's panicking so getting information out of him is like pulling teeth. I finally figure out his wife was robbed at their restaurant a few miles down the road. So I get on the radio to get units en route because he made it sound like it was in progress. Although I did wonder how come she can call him but not the police. I then learn that other officers are already on the scene and nobody is hurt. Okay, good. Now the guy wants to drive off. Nope! After finally getting him to shut up long enough for me to talk, I tell him his wife is okay. Officers are already on the scene. Then I start tearing into him about his driving. I know he is concerned about his wife, but he needs to use some common sense. Instead of panicking and acting on emotion, use logic. I tell him he is not the police and what good is his reckless driving going to do? Especially if he crashes and hurts or kills someone. Of course I let him go and I go there too where they had two guys detained. It turned out they weren't the suspects, but they certainly did invite police attention when one of the fools is wearing a cloth over his face like a bandit. He thought it was cool to walk around like that. Little did he know he walked past a robbery looking like that. Then when he's released, he puts it back on! Talk about an idiot! Well, he is just a product of his environment.

Thursday, January 8, 2009

There She Goes....Again!

I decided to stop a particular car. He was flying down the streets cutting into lanes. It was a 'G' ride with shiny rims. It might be something more, maybe not. Depends on the driver. I turn around and catch up to him and just as I was getting ready to light him up, I look over and see a woman in a wheel chair, in the middle of the street. She's blocking a lane of traffic. I hadn't deal with her in years, but I remember that profile. It's my favorite alcoholic, crack head, wheel chair using bum J. When I patrolled this district she hung out around the mall. She was always drunk and getting into fights with her 'boyfriend.' She was gone for a few months after she got arrested for stealing from a pharmacy. One time she got caught trying to buy marijuana right where an officer was eating lunch. I got out of the car, and she acted like she didn't recognize me. I wonder how heartless I looked to the casual observer who saw an officer approach a woman in a wheel chair crying (by the way she can walk). Most decent people (not knowing who this woman was) would take pity and bend over backwards to help her out. Instead, they watch this tall officer say

"Hi J! Long time no see! What the hell are you doing in the street?"

"I'm scared!"

"How drunk are you today? Get your ass out of the street before you get us both run over! Oh, and toss that beer you're trying to hide between your knees. You know you always try to hide your beer from me but you're not that smart!"

Yeah, on first appearance that scene looks harsh. Then again, you have to know the full story of this woman. The guy she's with today isn't her 'boyfriend.' This guy is her 'husband.' He is known for limping in the street holding his arm like it's broken begging for money. Another apparent sad story. Problem is, he's not crippled. He's just a worthless drunk bum like she is. I wonder where her 'boyfriend' is. I learn that he is in jail for taking a bat and beating the 'husband' up. After getting J out of the street I sigh. The drama in the hood never ends. I just wasn't destined to stop that G ride that night!

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Text Messages

My brother: I just got tased, it hurt like hell!

Me: They should have called me first! I still owe you for breaking into my Donkey Kong bank back in 1983.

She really needs to stop coming in at the end!

Some of us were eating breakfast with our favorite server, a young, single mother. One officer was talking about the day with his wife. He said by the end of the day he wanted to strangle her. The server walked in around the words "strangle her!" So, we have to explain that one to her. Then, we're talking about actress Kate Beckinsale. I mention a movie where she does a nice, nude sex scene. I say "she does this nice nude scene. In fact she looks so good naked I had to watch her sex sex scene again!" The server walked in and heard "watch her, sex, and again!" She had this incredulous look on her face. I shook my head and said she needed to stop doing that.

Sunday, January 4, 2009

Mistu Puuleezeman!

That's how he stopped me. I split off from the other officers while checking a bad apartment complex for a drunk who groped a 16-year old girl and got punched in the face. We knew he was here somewhere. I wanted to check the south end while the others checked the north end. Part of me was reminding me how stupid it was to walk this complex, at night, alone. I'm walking between two buildings when this kid says "mistu puuleezeman!" I know how important it is to leave children with a good impression of police officers, yet I don't have time to stop and socialize. So I say a dismissive hello and take a few steps away. Then he says "my daddy..." I stop. He keeps saying "my daddy." I ask what about his daddy, he just looks at me. I ask if he's okay, he says yes. I ask are his parents home, he says yes. I tell he needs to go home because the bad people come out at night. I ask him if he's going to go home now and he says yes. I then say a polite goodbye and take off in search of the creep. Well, we find a drunk passed out in a laundry room. He matches the description and he looks like the kind of drunk who would grope a teenage girl. We bring him back to the girl and she says it's not him. We start trying to identify him. It's clear he's an illegal who shouldn't be here. He won't identify himself. All he says is "I'm just a drunk! I'm no robber! I'm from Mexico!" Well after five minutes of this crap I've had enough. The clown goes to jail. We give the girl her information. Funny thing is she's not a real victim. She's a teenage girl growing up in the "barrio" so she knows how to handle herself. Hell, she's more streetwise than I am. Turns out she's coming from the 'smoke' shop from down the street. I ask "aren't you too young to be in that store?" Obviously a dumb question in this part of town but I wanted to hear her reaction. She just looked at me like a kid caught red handed at something. Clearly the clerk there didn't care. Had I more time (I still had another situation to deal with) I would have walked into that 'smoke' shop and chewed the clerk's ass out. I've been known to make embarrassing scenes for clerks, bartenders, and bouncers when caught serving minors. As I drive off I got to thinking about that boy. Was his English really bad? Was he mentally slow? What was he trying to say about his dad? He never did answer that question. I start thinking the worst. What if he was trying to tell me something? Now I wish I'd have taken more time to make sure all was well with that kid. I wish I'd have walked him to his apartment and made sure all was well. I just hope I'm over reacting.

Friday, January 2, 2009

New Year's Day

I came in tired. Fireworks didn't stop popping until about 3am. I start my patrol with a couple of traffic stops. Nothing worth writing tickets over, plus, it is New Year's Day so I'm in a lenient mood. Then, a man pulls up next to me and tells me he was threatened by a panhandler in the parking lot of a Walgreens. He then says "I think you should do something about it!" I really didn't like the way he said it. So, I give the woman I had stopped on traffic her license back and tell her Happy New Year and tell the old man he needs to lead me back to the store and show me the guy. He does. I see a scraggly looking man walking around the parking lot. He sees me and starts to walk towards a parked bicycle. I get out and stop him. I determine it's him. I put him in handcuffs and stuff him in my car. Well, come to find out, this guy is an 'ex-con.' I love the term 'ex-con' because that usually comes before the description of the triple homicide he just committed. Many people say "once a convict, always a convict." I believe that is true although not in the way you may think. Once you've been convicted and served time in a prison, nothing will ever change that. Now, can someone who served prison time lead a useful, productive life? Sure they can. Not often though. Anyway, we end up arresting him for terroristic threat. He gives me the old "ahhh just because I was in prison you take his word.....this ain't're making a mistake....yada yada yada." I guess I am an a-hole. Then I find out later he has a habit of doing this. He'll confront customers coming out of a restaurant nearby and if they don't give him money he threatens them. Ahhh so there! I did do good by approaching him, slapping the cuffs on him and showing him who really is boss.

The rest of the day is slow. I eat dinner then go search for coffee. As I'm walking out I hear sirens coming down the street. I get in the car and see one of our units behind a Nissan with the lights on. I think he is pulling it over here. The vehicles turn down the street. I drive behind the stores thinking they will be stopped there and I'd just be secondary on a traffic stop. Well, by the time I get around I see the vehicles going down another street. Oh hell, this isn't a traffic stop, it's a damn pursuit! I floor the pedal trying to catch up as they turn onto another street, a major thoroughfare. I make it to that street and again put the pedal to the metal! I'm flying up the street slowly gaining, 70, 80, 90, 98. We cross over an interstate highway when for whatever reason the Nissan starts slowing down. He finally comes to a stop. Well, good for all of us because there are people just trying to get to their destinations without this piece of crap endangering us all. I exit the car with my pistol covering the Nissan. I then spot the other officer already at the driver's window struggling to get the driver out of the vehicle. Well, bad officer safety because we don't know who this guy is or why he is running. I stay back not knowing if there are any passengers and if bullets come from the vehicle I'm in an excellent position to return fire. I shout "**** is there anyone else in the vehicle?" I had to ask twice over his siren. When he says no, I holster my pistol and run to help him. Well, the driver forgot to put the vehicle in park because it is still moving. On top of that, his arm is caught in the seat belt and is being drug up the street! This is the second time in my career I've had to jump in a moving vehicle to get it to stop, and after a pursuit! Well I get the Nissan parked and we get the driver in custody. Turns out he's a twice convicted drunk driver and guess what? Yep! He's drunk again! While we're inventorying the vehicle and someone says "oh my check this out quick!" Everyone is racing to the back of the car. I'm thinking they've found drugs, guns, or maybe even a human head. So, I get back there and what do I see? About 20 damn porno DVDs! One officer says "damn his collection is better than mine!" I can only sigh and shake my head. Damn juveniles. I find the brand new guy and tell him he had to put each and every porno title on the tow slip. I'd like to know if he really did. When his supervisor reads it, he will have a baby. Oh well, I'll find out if he did, and have a good laugh about it. That was my excitement for New Year's Day. I hope you all had a good day.

Thursday, January 1, 2009

New Year's Eve

Some of the events this New Year's Eve!!!!

Three people walk up to a guy working on his car. One of them pulls a gun and demands he give them whatever he has. He completely disregards them. He then gets in his car and drives off! They didn't get ****! That's hysterical!

Some nutball flees and leads officers on a chase through a 4 block radius before being caught!

An 'undocumented migrant worker' is walking in the middle of the street with a bottle of tequila and a glass. He can't understand why he is being arrested.

One officer tries to stop a vehicle that keeps going for about a mile. While about 5 of them are on that car after it finally stops, another rocket scientist, literally around the corner fires off a shotgun. He is quickly arrested and a check on the shotgun shows it to be stolen. So, some idiot was shooting a stolen shotgun on NYE.

A night shift officer comes on, and manages to go out looking to firework calls to put himself out on. Now, unless one is actually dispatched I say leave it alone. On NYE and the 4th of July there are gonna be fireworks and best to just let it go.