An officer enters a major freeway and spots two vehicles racing at about 120 MPH and cutting in and out of lanes amongst traffic. He catches one of them as the other takes off. The one who stopped realizes he's being arrested and doesn't want to go alone so he tells who his friend is. His friend actually agrees to come back to the scene and goes to jail with his friend. Talk about a friend!
There is a sandwich shop that has an unwelcome guest. Some bum who keeps coming onto the property drunk and harassing customers for money. He keeps getting arrested and charged with criminal trespass. This last time on the way to jail he asks the arresting officer when will he give up on arresting him!
In the annuls of dumb criminals here is one for the books. Two officers are on bicycle patrol through a bad apartment complex when they approach a guy. As they get closer he blurts out that he is a parolee and had just smoked marijuana. The officers quickly determine he doesn't live on the property so he is arrested for trespass. On his way to jail he protests that he can't be arrested because his rights weren't read! What a stupid ass!