I was going to another substation for a briefing when the call went out. Supposedly on a major freeway there was a man sitting on a barrier with a weapon! Normally I look for excuses not to have to go to the stations and this was pretty good one. Then I realize I'm about a mile from where he's supposed to be. Now, if he has a gun and is sitting on the barrier and I roll up on him I'm a sitting duck in that car. In my mind I formulate a plan. If I do find him, and he does have a gun and he does point it at me. Since I can't get to my own gun in that car I'm just going to aim the car at him and go Clara Harris on his ass! I reach the intersection he's supposed to be at and nobody is there. I exit, U-turn and go back the other direction checking the other side when someone says they have the guy about 3 miles up the road. So I head that way. Right before I get there they announce "oops it's not him but wait we have him at..." which is 3 miles the other way. So I exit and make another damn U-turn and arrive along with 10 other units. He had no weapon and turned out to be some nutbar walking along the roadway.

One of our districts gets swamped with calls and we run out of units. Thursdays and Fridays are our shorthanded days so I head up there and run calls as well. I get stuck on a half hour call with a pissed off woman who wants to complain because her ex-husband called us to accompany him to pick up his kids. I've talked to him before and he's paranoid. After listening to her rant I flat out tell her she's wrong. Her complaint is with her ex husband not the officers. I also tell her if we're called we're coming and perhaps she should try being friendly and not a bitch! Okay I didn't say that last part like that. I used a little more diplomatic approach.

I arrive back at the station and see an officer look like they are hiding by a port-o-potty. I ask what they are doing. They hesitate. Then tell me more I need to know. Apparently they had to use the restroom and didn't have a flashlight so they pee'd on the closed lid and on their pant leg. That's the first time I've had someone tell me that one!